It has always been my favorite holiday. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always loved Christmas for every reason. The lights, the weather, the music, the food, the presents. Decorating the Christmas tree, going to my Maw-Maw's house, opening presents. I've always loved the general atmosphere and the anticipation that comes with this particular holiday. I've always loved the tradition of it all: watching the same movies, putting the same decorations in the same places, those certain treats that are only made at Christmas, opening plastic bins and carboard boxes to reveal the same ornaments and things that I see every year. I've also always loved the Christmas story. I've loved the Christmas Eve service at church, the candles, the books that my grandmother had and the story of baby Jesus.
Those are all things I have loved since I was a little girl. But, in recent years, as I turned ten and then became a teenager, I have discovered other hidden joys of Christmas. I have discovered the joy of shopping for Operation Christmas Child, and the enjoyment of going caroling with my church. I've learned how much fun it is to serve others at Christmas. Learning the true meaning of Christmas has been a joy in and of itself. Seeing the joy on the faces of others gives me joy, and sometimes it is that joy that resonates more.
I was told a couple of years ago by a youth leader of mine that I have serenity in my heart and joy in my smile. It was by far the most humbling thing I could have heard, and to hear it from such an influential person in my life was truly a blessing. I have met many people in the last few years that have had a major impact on my life. Youth leaders, pastors, a rapper, singers, authors, teenagers, adults, children, teachers, and even others that I can't think of right now, they have all impacted me. I sometimes get into a very psychologically deep mood, and I tend to reflect on the world in general. Around the holidays, I find myself in that mood more and more frequently.
Christmas has changed for me in the past half-decade or so. Five years ago, I was going to my grandmother's house for Thanksgiving, where we would cook in the morning and watch the parade on television, and then eat lunch and decorate the Christmas tree at her house. I was also waking up at home on Christmas morning, and either my Maw-Maw would be at my house very early, or we would pack up and go to her house. Either way, we would open presents and eat homemade bread with butter for breakfast, and sing Christmas carols and play with our new possessions.
My grandmother died the fall before my thirteenth birthday, and it was a downward spiral from there. Strange circumstances were in abundance, and holidays that year were, to put it nicely, a mess. I believe we went to my sister's house for Thanksgiving, where emotions were running high and my Cherry-O-Pie wasn't properly smooth, which was a problem that I could no longer consult the woman who taught me the recipe about. Christmas was also a mess, and we spent it just the four of us for the first time, if I remember it correctly.
This year, Christmas is going to look even more strange. Not only are we estranged from my sister and therefore my four-year-old nephew, but we had a house fire in October and are living in a rental house. As I type this, it's Thanksgiving day, and we are far from celebrating the way we once did. We're sitting here in the kitchen of a rental house that is far from organized as of yet, and it may as well be another day of the year. Except, of course, for the thankfulness we all have, for our family, our friends, and a house to live in at all. And the dog barking wildly at thin air, I guess we're thankful for him too. I have always loved Christmas, but this year I'm starting to wonder what exactly Christmas will look like. I mean, I know we're leaving Christmas day to spend a few days at St.Simon Island with our grandparents, but aside from that, what exactly will become of my beloved traditions? Being in my reflective mood, these are questions on my mind. But, as I sit back and think about it, I realize that my most beloved traditions are actually still entirely intact! There are still plenty of children to pack Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes for, and I still have my angel tree gift to give, as well as the other gifts for family and friends. There are still homebound church members to carol for, and plenty of things to do to prepare for our Christmas Eve service at church. And, yes, I will definitely be spending Christmas with my family...I have no choice, we'll be packed into the car for six hours! :)
So, the true meaning of Christmas from a high-schooler's perspective is simple. Don't focus on what you don't have, focus on what you do. Focus on the joy that comes with Christmas, because it is a joyful time!
Always, Cassie
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