Houston

Despite the fact that the National Youth Gathering that will take place in Houston is still close to two years away, in the summer of 2018, I find that the Gathering is on my mind a lot lately. You all most likely know the kind of experience I had at National Youth Gathering last summer in Detroit, and now I’m back with my thoughts for the participants of the gathering that will happen in just a short two years. (Trust me, the time flies by much faster than you think and will be filled with preparation!)

If I could give any piece of advice to youth traveling to Houston, it would be to revel in every single second. Not just from the moment you step on that bus or plane or settle into the seat of your car or van, but now. Don’t put off getting excited until you get there, or even until it’s almost time to leave. Get excited now. Take joy in every bit of preparation you and your church are doing even now. Take pleasure in fundraising, and don’t lose sight of the fact that you are doing all that work to give yourself and others in your youth group the chance of a lifetime, to experience something you will never, ever forget.

Secondly, the Gathering is fun. The big group events are amazing, worship sessions and singing and the people you meet, all of it is beyond exciting. But if you have the opportunity, dare to venture out. This is going to be something you are always going to remember. Don’t waste that. Take chances, do things you wouldn’t do at home, and see the city. That was among the most enjoyable parts of the gathering for me, the chance to immerse myself in the culture of Detroit. I would imagine that the same could be true for Houston, if you take the opportunity to see it. Meet people, experience things, and eat. Definitely eat. Food is among my best memories of National Youth Gathering, because food brings people together. See the sports and the sights and the people of the city you are serving.

That’s the other thing.

You are there to serve Houston. Houston is not there to serve you. You are sent out in this city to do more than have fun (although trust me, you will have fun.) You are send out to serve. To proclaim. To be the image, the representation, of a much bigger picture than you or your church, or your synod, even. You are the reflection of more than just the ELCA; you’re the reflection of Christ, and that is an undeniably powerful tool that you can’t take lightly! The people of Houston will feed off your energy. They will see your example, and it will impact you more than you realize. I learned that when 30,000 teenagers flooded the city last summer, Detroit found us a little hard to ignore. So be hard to ignore. Make friends and high-five strangers and talk to people. Don’t hesitate to venture out of the bubble. It would be easy, I think, to maintain a sort of wall between yourself and the city for most of the week, but don’t. I promise you will get more out of this experience if you live it, as intricately and deeply and with as much energy as you can.

I guarantee that Houston will change your life. You just have to let it, and it starts now. 

Romance

Romance

1)      A feeling of excitement or mystery associated with love

2)      A quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life

This definition of the word “romance” was one I found when I googled the words “definition of romance”. It was a simple act, googling the words. But what I learned from it, and the experiences that have led up to me typing that phrase into a search engine in the first place, was anything but simple.

I came to the realization recently that sometimes, I hold people and things in my life to a standard that was set incorrectly. Standards set by Nicholas Sparks novels and Disney movies and my own imagination are out of the realm of reality. It’s never going to end well if you expect someone to uphold those standards. To expect a man to be Noah Calhoun (The Notebook) or Prince Charming, is unfair not only to them, but also to yourself.

We are human beings. You and I, we’re humans. We’re not Disney princesses, we’re not romanticized heroines who are perfect. We are flawed and we have imperfections and we have characteristics about ourselves that we don’t like.

Guess what?

The ones we fall in love with are human beings, too. They are flawed and have imperfections and have characteristics about themselves that they don’t like. They’re not Prince Charming, and they’re not romanticized, perfect heroes. They, like you, are human beings.

I realized in the last couple of days that I have been approaching the idea of romance in entirely the wrong way. Expecting other people to uphold my standard of romance, or my standard of anything, is like expecting them to be just like me. I wouldn’t want to date myself, and my guess is that neither do you. When I put it like that in my head, the concept was laughable.

Our differences make us the unique and beautiful individuals that we are. I personally fell in love with someone who is incredibly unique and sometimes overwhelmingly so. It’s something that I love about him, but I realized that I was unconsciously combatting that quality in him that I love so much, because I was expecting him to see romance the same way that I do.

As it turns out, he doesn’t. And what I realized is that I don’t really want him to. I thought I did, at first, but now I see that if I got what I thought I wanted, I would be creating the most boring relationship ever. The definition of romance that I found on Google highlights the air of mystery that comes with romance. If everyone we ever dated had the same idea of romance that we do, we would be eliminating all the mystery from our relationships.

Like I said, boring.

So what I’ve learned through all of this is that just because he doesn’t think the way you do, doesn’t mean it can’t be a good thing. I have to learn to let go of some of my preconceptions and accept some of the realities of the thing that is more beautiful than Disney movies: real life.

And maybe when I let go of some of those preconceptions, I’ll find that what fills the space is even better than I had imagined in the first place.