Well, it's Mother's Day, guys. So, if you're a mother, grandmother, maternal figure, or something of the sort, happy Mother's Day! I have been trying to think of something to blog about for weeks, and hadn't come up wih quite the perfect idea. Until today, of course. Today, it occured to me that, while I have blogged about some of the important people in my life, I have not yet done so in regards to one of the most important people-my mom!
I cannot even begin to express just how much she means to me. I never imagined that my mother would become so much my friend, confidant, and compainion. We aren't perfect, not by a long shot, but as I reflect on my relationship with my mom, I realize we have something very special. I tell my mom everything. Literally, there is very very little, if anything, that I don't tell her. I know that I can depend on my mom to be there for me when no one else is, and I like to think that street goes both ways. I find that I turn to my mom when I need basically anything. Advice, love, help, truth, prayer; all of these are things that I know she will give me to the best of her ability. I'm grateful. The truth hurts a lot of the time, but I love that I can go to her and know that she will tell me honestly what she thinks, and never sugar coat things or lie to me to make it seem better than it is. If there is something that I need advice on and she doesn't have the answer, she inevitably comes back to me some time later, with some form of an answer gleaned from nights of prayer and reflection. There is a stability and wisdom in that which I rely on and am thankful for.
Experience, I've learned, is the best way to learn things. Experience which I don't have. I am an inherently stubborn person by nature. Just because someone else tells me my idea is going to get me in a tight spot, does not mean I won't do it. Actually, if someone tells me that, I'm even more likely to do it, if only to prove them wrong. (Which usually doesn't work; usually, they were right all along and I make some kind of big mistake which leads to unfavorable consequences. I digress.)
My mother is far more experienced at everything in life than I am. (I know more Castle trivia than she does, so ha!) Despite my inherent hard-headedness, I know that she can teach me so much. She's made all the mistakes I seem to want to make for myself. She's done all the things I think are good ideas, when they aren't. She's been in the place where she had to make the decision I'm losing sleep over. And the best part is that she's willing to share all of that with me, willing to admit her wrongs and bad choices in life in the hopes of helping to prevent me from making those same mistakes. As I said, I'm very stubborn. A lot of the time, when my mom is trying to teach me by anecdote, I fight it. I am deermined that I will learn by my own mistakes. But sometimes, every once in a while, a little ray of light makes its way through the many layers of my thick skull and I realize that she's right (Don't tell her I said that). And because of her willingness to share her story with me, I evade a catastrophe. Sometimes.
My mother has spent so much of her time with me. She has given up her whole life for my siblings and I, all the time and energy she could be spending on herself, she spends on us. Hours talking with me about really stupid stuff that, at the time, seemed like the end of the world to me. Looking back, she had to be thinking, This is never going to matter. This "disaster" is nothing. But still, she sat with me until three a.m., talking about that boy I had a crush on. She spent entire days planning my wedding, only to have me change my mind. (Not that I need to plan my wedding anyway!) She indulges me when I tell her the same story fifty times, and listens to the songs I want her to hear, even when she may not like them at all. So, in honor of my mother, here are a few tips that I have learned from an incredible woman. If you're not as thick-headed as I am, maybe they'll sink in for you. If they do, and they make a difference, thank my mother.
1) All good people do bad things; it doesn't make them bad people. All bad people do good things; it doesn't make them good people.
2) God first. Family second. School or work third.
3) Just be.
4) Salad fork, dinner fork, left side of the plate. Knife, serrated side in, spoon, on the right side.
5) Always serve water with dinner.
6) A woman should know how to work on cars. Never rely on a man to do that for you.
7) Every woman should have the experience of living first with other females, and then by herself, before she gets married.
8) Be resourceful. You need neither meat nor beans to have chili.
9) Trust your gut. Your instincts are vital, and if something feels wrong, it is. Get out.
10) Call me before the cops get involved. I will only bail you out once.
11) Read books, and be cultured.
12) Grammar! GRAMMAR. GrAmMeR! Grammar. grammar! GRAMMAR! Grammar. Grammar. Grammar?
13) Be well spoken, be classy, and be honest.
14) People will talk. If there's nothing to say about you, they will make something up.
15) Be part of a church in your community. What it says on the sign doesn't matter, as long as the people inside are worshipping God.
These are just a taste of the things my mother has taught me, and continues to attempt to beat into me. (I'm kidding, I promise.) On this mother's day, and every other day of the year, I am grateful for my mother; the woman who fixes my hair and writes Bible verses on my face for me and corrects my bad grammar sometimes, teaches me to make cakes, and stays up binge-watching various TV shows with me. I am so grateful.
I'll love you last. <3